Follow up to "The Break Up" - Cowards in The Name of Kindness...
There is nothing worse than this scenario: Knowing a relationship is dying yet having someone who claims to love you not respect you enough to come honest and real and just lay it all out there. If it's not working, then it's not working. If you are no longer feeling a situation, just be straight up and real about it. Have a backbone and say what needs to be said. I can't stand it when someone says "I dont want to be mean" or "I dont want to hurt them", all the while they continue in a relationship they dont want to be in. What's mean and hurtful is staying in a relationship and not giving your all to it. What's mean is living a lie, saying that things are okay when they are not. It's hurtful to cut off affection when you are no longer feeling them. What's wrong is sticking around keeping a relationship on life support while straying outside it to look for others.There is nothing nice about leading someone on rather than giving them clarity and doing what needs to be done so both people can move forward and be happy.
Coming straight up may seem harsh, but honesty IS the best policy. The truth hurts, but in the end it's something that real people will always respect. Plus, when you hold back the truth and dont tell someone how you feel, you are really calling them weak. You are saying that they cannot handle the truth. That it will break them so you have to shelter them from the horrible hurt. I take that approach as an insult and a slap in the face. I mean b**** please, get over yourself....i've been through all the crazy and difficult times i've seen in my life and kept standing, endured things you can't imagine...but you think I cant handle the word no from *you*....PUH-lease. I believe the feigned extra care is really a cop out from people who dont have the spine and nerve to be honest and to be really real.
If you keep it honest and just break it off, people may be angry or hurt, but in the end you can leave a relationship with respect. And because of that respect you have the opportunity to be friends at some point. If you dont, them people stray, they cheat, they argue.....feelings end up getting hurt a lot more and respect ends up getting lost. You end up losing someone from your life altoghether. So many people talk about keeping it real. Well in this situation, it's as real as it gets. And people need to show and prove.
About Me
- Dredlockesq
- Where do I begin....Formerly dredlocked, African American attorney, born in the coalfields of southern West Virginia, and after a long and at times crazy journey now living and working in New England. I strive each and every day to be a positive figure, to consistently better myself and to make a difference in this society. I am self-analytical, my own worst critic, fiercely independent and self-reliant, vocal and passionate, loyal and brutally honest. I pride myself on having a great deal of mental and emotional toughness and strength, forged through taking life's toughest blows and remaining standing. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so what you see is what you get. I can be a walking paradox at times....both outgoing and withdrawn, people person and very private, social and shy, outgoing and reserved, depending on my mood. I love conversations about politics, religion, philosophy, psychology and social justice. I am incredibly opinionated. My confidence in myself and my views may come across as arrogance to some, but it's not.....i'm just very firm in my knowledge of self and my beliefs. I am very spiritual, with my faith in God being my bedrock and my foundation.