The Pissed Off Blog


There’s been a lot of stuff in the news recently that has pissed me off…..


Arlen Specter pisses me off. Specter is the senior US Senator from Pennsylvania. Now historically I have not had issue with him, as he certainly is a very moderate Republican. If anything I gained a solid measure of respect for him a couple of years ago when he came out and criticized President Bush’s plans to wiretap US citizens without warrants (The NSA terrorist surveillance program). But I have lost a lot of that respect based on his overzealous actions with respect to “Spygate”. I know Senator Specter is a Philadelphia Eagles fan and is angry at the notion that the Patriots may have cheated his team out of a Super Bowl back in 2005. But to still be pushing the issue after the NFL has conducted a full scale probe is ridiculous. The Patriots have been punished. The Boston Herald has been forced to apologize for their mistaken allegations about the incident. NFL fans across the country are ready to move on. But Ol’ Arlen wants to still run the issue in the ground and threaten the NFL’s antitrust exemption.


Here’s the thing. Gas is $4 a gallon. People are having their homes foreclosed at a record rate. Our young men are STILL dying in Iraq. And all this cat can worry about is whether a football team taped some signals???? Please, it sounds like the Senator needs to get his priorities in order. And if I was a voter in Pennsylvania I would sure remind him.


Speaking of the war, there’s the report from top officials at the Veterans Health Administration that an average of 126 veterans a week (18 a day) are committing suicide. A whole generation of young men is coming home from the war with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and other demons and are not being properly treated or cared for. Please feel free to check out the link (http://www.military.com/news/article/va-sued-over-care-high-suicide-rates.html).These are the casualties of war no one speaks of. And further proof that we need to support the troops by both getting them the hell out of Iraq and Afghanistan as quickly as possible and making sure that proper funds go towards treating them once they are back. The fact that so many of the “support the troops” people from back in the day are silent on this, pisses me off.


Lastly, it’s been a crazy couple of weeks in the Democratic presidential campaign. Hill-cifer Clinton (thanks RK) just put her foot in her mouth with the Bobby Kennedy assassination comment. Even if the comment was made without insidious intent, it was just plain reckless in light of what Senator Obama has had to deal with in the last year (getting Secret Service protection). Of course, I am also pissed that Mike Huckabee’s “joke” told to a NRA audience, which was much more blatant and disrespectful, was reported far less strongly. There is no place in the campaign for these sorts of comments.


Keeping with the campaign, it pisses me off that the Clinton camp, after her wins in Kentucky and West Virginia, tried to float the notion that Obama would have trouble in the general election because he couldn’t court white working class voters. If you look at the campaign as a whole (rather than through the desperate lens of Clinton’s losing campaign) you would see that those notions couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s interesting that Obama didn’t have a problem with white working class voters when he won 60% of the vote in Vermont, the state with the second highest Caucasian population in the Union. He didn’t have a problem when he won caucuses and primaries in 5 of the other 10 whitest states (Maine, North Dakota, Iowa, Wyoming, Idaho) and barely lost in a 6th (New Hampshire). Yet, he loses in two of the most redneck states in the country, West Virginia and Kentucky (I can say that...I was born in one and have roots in the other) and suddenly it’s an issue. It sounds to me like, if anything, Obama has an Appalachia issue more than a white working class voter issue.


Lastly, continued prayers out to the Kennedy family.

Spring Time, Sports and Cherishing Life

It’s been a long time since I’ve written. Work and life have been quite busy. But things are pretty good now. Spring is finally here after a long cold winter. The past week has been filled with sunny, warm days that have broken the winter chill and enabled me to get out enjoy just walking and exploring the city. And the coming of spring has brought a great time in sports....Baseball is underway, the NBA and NHL are in the midst of their playoffs, the NFL Draft is around the corner, March Madness just wrapped with a title game for the ages and College Football Spring Games are giving a preview of what to expect in the fall. So being the sports fan that I am, I figured i'd share some random thoughts from the sports world.


ESPN.Com had a great article on one of my favorite NBA players and favorite athletes in general. Rasheed Wallace often gets critized in the media and is shunned by the NBA publicity machine. But this article showcases that he is an afrocentric, intelligent black man of substance who helps black children off the court and has his teammates back on it. ‘Sheed is one of the smartest players in the league and, if given the opportunity, should become a great coach one day. So many players in the league are afraid to speak out about any topics of substance for fear of offending anyone or scaring off endorsement opportunities. But Rasheed has never been afraid to step up, speak his mind or challenge the system. For that, as well as his versatile game on the court, the brotha has my respect. Check the article here:


http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3336339


While on basketball, I have to give props to my favorite player, whom I watched dominate and drop 40 points and 10 dimes on the Nuggets tonight. The NBA MVP race is really not a race at all. Much respect to Chris Paul for making basketball relevant in New Orleans and giving a city that has been through so much something to cheer and be proud of. Big props to Kevin Garnett for resurrecting the Celtics franchise and taking them to the top of the Eastern Conference. But the MVP of the league is none other than KB24. After an offseason of turmoil, Kobe Bryant once again established his status as the best player in the league. Playing in a conference with 8 50-win teams (virtually unheard of), he still led the Lakers to the top seed in the conference. He shot less, involved and trusted his teammates more, reasserted himself as a lockdown defender, and returned his franchise to the top of the conference. The Gasol trade was a huge for the Lakers no question, but everyone knows that the Lakers will go only as far as Kobe will take them. People seem to come up with reasons to hate the brotha. They bring up the Colorado charges (even though they ended up being without merit), him supposedly running off Shaq (even though his big ass is now on his 4th team, and every time he whines and makes his leaving somehow someone elses' fault), or his perceived arrogance (what great player ISN’T cocky). But the reality is, we are now watching one of the truly great competitors of our time. After the amazing year, and career, he has had, he deserves his first MVP award. And as much as i'm proud of the Celtics return to form, if it's Lakers-Celtics in the finals, my loyalties will be the same as they were back in the 80's....With the Purple and Gold.


Its been an exciting time in boxing as well. Miguel Cotto and Antonio Margarito both had spectacular knockouts and set the stage for a total war between them in the fall. The Joe Calzaghe-Bernard Hopkins fight was worth the hype, being a close, competitive contest. Joe Calzaghe stepped up as the fight went along and got the deserved victory. B-Hop is a legend, and is in amazing shape for a 43 year old, but his tactics, "gamesmanship" (acting like he got shot in the groin after a borderline low blow, which was just a ploy to rest late in the fight) and refusal to give his opponent any credit after the fight showed a lack of class. With Oscar De La Hoya, Shane Mosley, Manny Pacquiao and Kelly Pavlik all fighting between now and the end of the summer, it looks like boxing is continuing to make quality matches to stand up to the increasing popularity of MMA.


Lastly I have to encourage everyone to watch this month's edition of HBO's Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. It featured a story that was so moving I almost couldn't sleep after watching it. It is about a man named Mike Coolbaugh. Mike was a career minor leaguer....A real life Crash Davis (For the Bull Durham fans out there), who loved the game and loved his family more. He retired from playing to become a coach, where he gave back to the game he loved by taking the time to mentor and take young minor leaguers under his wing. Sadly, he lost his life on a one in a billion fluke play. In over a century of play, a first or third base coach in professional baseball had never been killed by a foul ball. Mike Coolbaugh became the first. He left behind a wife, two young boys, and a daughter he never got to see born.


This story moved me because it showed that we all are really not promised tomorrow. At any instant, when we least expect it, our lives can be gone. One moment you can be going through your daily routine and *poof* it can all be over. This story, as sad as it was, got me to really refocus on living and enjoying each day, not letting the small and petty things bother me and truly appreciatine the blessings that I have. Its so easy to get caught up looking to a future that may never come. But honestly, we should all take the time to express our love to those we care for, to take a moment out of the most hectic day to reflect on our blessings....Because we can't take for granted that we will have the opportunity to do it tomorrow.

25 Things a black man should never apologize for...

Back after a hiatus, and I had to post this list. I saw it online, and I believe the message is so important. It's about black men standing up, being the strong men that we are, demanding what we need and want and not feeling the least bit sorry for it.

1. Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy. Even if you Need to quit your job, transfer schools, or move across country, Always do what you really want. If you're no good to yourself you can't be good to others.

2. Never apologize for using proper English. Being articulate is the Epitome of Blackness. (Study Dr. King, Malcom X, or Cornell West to See what I'm talking about.)

3. Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship that just didn't work out. Contrary to popular belief there are some trifling women out here who wouldn't know a good man if he held her door open for her or offered her a seat on a crowded bus.

4. Never apologize for being successful and wanting to get out of the "hood". Only haters want to keep you at their level.

5. Never apologize for speaking the truth. Only those afraid of change and self examination will curse you for it.

6. Never apologize for physical short comings. When you are the man God wants you to be the physical means nothing.

7. Never apologize for being careful with your money. Just because you refuse to take that chick you just met on 360 to the most expensive restaurant in town doesn't mean you're cheap. Keep your financial house in order so that you can provide for yourself and that lady who is worth your time.

8. Don't apologize for being a caring, nurturing Dad. We don't have to be hard or rough all the time. Hug and kiss your children, especially your sons so that they know how to express love to others.

9. Never apologize for treating yourself to something special. If you are being that good husband and father that God wants you to be and that your family needs you to be then an Xbox 360 isn't too much to ask.

10. Never apologize for leaving a bad relationship. Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't love and respect you. You feelings have worth too brother.

11. Never apologize for backing out of the wedding or taking your time before popping the question. Too many people rush into marriage with their hearts instead of looking at the situation logically. Never allow yourself to be pressured.

12. Never apologize for setting high standards in a relationship. As men we need to look past the physical/superficial. Having a nice butt, big breast, a pretty face or long hair does not make a woman relationship or "wifey" material. Look to her heart and mind.

13. Never apologize for or be afraid to say NO.

14. Never apologize for asking for what you want in bed. Contrary to popular belief, men are deeper than a blowjob or doggie style. Ask for what you want. Who knows, she may want the same thing.

15. Never apologize for not wearing expensive clothes, buying expensive jewelry or driving a fancy car. Your SELF worth is more Important than your NET worth. Remember brothers, you are more than what's in your wallet.

16. Never apologize for wanting to spend time with your boys. Women will come in and out of your life, but the bond of brotherhood should and must be maintained.

17. Never apologize for buying that extra game. Refer to 9.

18. Never apologize for dating outside your race. Just because you found Ms. Right across the color line doesn't mean you're weak and can't deal with a "strong sista." Seek eagerly, choose carefully and love deeply.

19. Never apologize for demanding respect. As you give it you deserve It. You are a King black man, act like one.

20. Never apologize for not knowing how to cook. Apologize for not wanting to learn. There is no such thing as "woman's work" brothers. If you like to eat you should like to cook. Remember, some of the best chefs in the world are men.

21. Never apologize for wanting to date. If you are not in a committed relationship and chose to date more than one woman so be It. As long as you are honest at the beginning there should be no Problem.

22. Never apologize for or be ashamed of asking for help. No man is an island and we all need assistance from time to time.

23. Never apologize for or be afraid to make decisions for your Family. As the head of the family that is your role. Take advice and of course consult your wife. Remember she is your partner. But God is holding YOU responsible for what goes on in your house. After Adam and Eve ate the apple, God looked for Adam. Why, because he was the head and ultimately responsible for what went on.

24. Never apologize for not making as much money as your woman. If you do what you love and set the proper example for your wife and children, money won't be an issue. If it is then you have the wrong woman.

25. Never apologize for doing you. To thine own self be true Black man.

American Gangster - Why This Movie Bothered Me


In response to all of the hype, I went and watched American Gangster tonight. My feelings on it are a bit split. Looking at it strictly as a film, it was well made. As with any movie starring two Academy Award winning actors like Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, the acting was superb. I thought Ruby Dee (a true legend) was excellent as Frank Lucas mother. Not a lot of scenes but powerful in the ones she did have. The movie is long (almost 3 hours) but if flows well...


The movie left me bothered though.....The movie takes the path of portraying Frank Lucas as a redemptive figure in the end, showing him in a positive light in spite of what he symbolized, which was the spread of death throughout the black community. As much as some will laud him for his "smart" approach to crime (Typical Sicilian mob values such as not showing your money and surrounding yourself with family to insulate yourself), the reality is that this man pushed a product onto the streets more potent than what was already there, and that led to a boom in addiction and all that goes with it.


Furthermore, it was a reflection of the time. The movie covered a period from 1967 to 1973. This was the era of Cointelpro, the FBI's program that investigated and took down what it thought to be "dissident political organizations" in the US. Among these organizations were civil rights organizations, including Dr. King's SCLC and many others. So during a time when there was a groundswell of unity and an activist spirit in inner city black communities, and the government was trying to undermine this movement , along comes Frank Lucas.


We're supposed to believe that a former bodyguard and flunky for Bumpy Johnson (another small time hood), through a family member in Vietnam just STUMBLES by accident on a pure heroin connection worth hundreds of millions of dollars and is able to outsmart the CIA and other federal agencies, and smuggle it into the country for 6 YEARS right under their noses without them knowing anything about it. (All during a time of cointelpro here and a war in the region there).


Yup, I put that right up there with a fat white guy with a beard in a red suit coming down my chimney to drop off presents and a rabbit that lays colored eggs in April.


In my view: This whole Frank Lucas rise happened on the governments watch.....they watched him import enourmous amounts of pure heroin into the black communities to extinguish the black consciousness and civil rights movement of the 60's. Then once things were done and an entire community was sick, down and out, he gets a slap on the wrist (after the fact) and lives out his life in peace rather than dying in prison.


Consider in the aftermath of this time, Afros, dashikis and positive entertainment were replaced by perms and pimp coats glamorized in flicks like "Superfly" and "The Mack". A movement gone...


I know some will try to dismiss this as another "Bringing the black man down" rant (seems like that's what conservative types call any attempt to call the government out on a racial issue.....it is an attempt to group all arguments together and dismiss them). But when you look at the facts, its clear that Frank Lucas rise and fall, and the many people who were addicted and killed during its time, took place on the watch of those who could have prevented it if they wanted to.


Add to that the fact that the movie really doesn't leave enough of a "cautionary tale". Young people who see this will see a man who had a beauty queen wife, money, cars, clothes and a glamorous lifestyle who beat the system time and time again and in the end walked away unscathed. Not the best message at all, especially during a time where I have to read about young people, the people I work with, shooting at each other on a daily basis.


It is what it is....And as much as I can appreciate a well acted movie, the man it portrays and what transpired around his rise sickens me.

The Sickness of a Hate Crimes

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am from West Virginia. I represent my state loud and proud, and I literally bleed Blue and Gold as a Mountaineer fan. However, yesterday something went down in my state that made me feel angry and ashamed.

By now I am sure many of you have seen it. In Big Creek, West Virginia, about 30 minutes from where I grew up, a 20 year old Black woman named Megan Williams was kidnapped and tortured for at least a week by 4 individuals. She was beaten, had parts of her hair torn out and was mentally, physically and sexually abused. These monsters...I can't call them people....Blacked both of her eyes, stabbed her numerous times in her legs, forced her to eat rat and dog feces and drink from the toilet. They raped her. They called her nigger every time they stabbed ger. Thanks to a tip, police were finally able to find and free her.

The question is, what now? These people do not need to ever see the light of day. I cannot even imagine the level of misfortune that would need to come down upon them for Karma to balance this out.

Looking beyond the incident, we must as what can be done to properly punish acts like this so that there can be a deterrant effect. The logical action would be to make it easier for the Federal Government to get involved, which would bring greater resources in prosecution and stiffer penalties, including the death penalty (West Virginia does not currently have the death penalty).

18 U.S.C. § 245 is a federal statute that allows the federal government to step in and prosecute in situations where people by force or threat of force willfully injures, intimidates or interferes with any person because of his race, color, religion or national origin. However this law ONLY allows the Federal Government to step in where the person of color is exercising a federally protected right like voting or going to school. It does NOT current apply in situations like this. That means that these monsters can only be tried in state court, before potentially more biased jurors or judges who may be more sympathetic and assign lesser penalties.

In May of this year Congressman John Conyers took steps to remedy this and to get the Federal Government more involved in acts like this by proposing a bill called the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2007...This law would expand the Federal Government's ability to prosecute local hate crimes in ALL situations and give stiffer penalties for concivtions....It would also devote millions to the investigation of these crimes.

This bill passed the House of Representatives and currently sits in the Senate.....President Bush (surprise, surprise) has threatened to veto it.

In light of what has just happened in WV as well as other situations (The case in Georgia of the little boy named Christopher Barrios comes to mind) this law is needed....People who commit these acts of hate cannot get a slap on the wrist from local authorities...They need to be put away for good or in cases where they kill someone get the death penalty.

Everyone who is shocked by this story should contact their Senator and push them to vote for this bill....Hopefully there will be enough votes to override a veto....It may not help Megan Williams or Christopher Barrios, but it certainly will have an impact on the next young person who has their dignity or life taken because of the color of their skin get proper vindication for the wrongs done to them.

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=h110-1592

How do you know?


That is the question that has plagued my mind the past few months. How do you know when the time is right to settle down? When you’ve come across the right person to settle down with? You come across and meet a lot of people just being social in the city. You get to know a lot of people through dating. Many of those people have redeeming qualities that draw you to them in some way. But the question lingers…Who is the right one? And when is the right time/


I don’t want to waste my time pouring heart and emotion and effort into something that will not last. When you put in effort to something, you want the pay off of benefiting from it. I also do not want to become too selective and give up prematurely on a situation that could develop into something long lasting. It’s a difficult balance.


It’s causing me to really look at and analyze what I want. It’s not a black and white thing, not as simple as “nice” or “educated”, “fun” or “positive”…..It’s than intangible “it” factor that tells you that someone is right for you. I am wondering if it is ever that clear. If you ever really just “know” like some people seem to believe. I wonder if it isn’t about finding a “one” but rather finding one that you can make things work with…..Do I give up on the soul mate idea for someone that I can “make it work” with or do I hold out for a notion (the surefire “one”) whose validity I am starting to question.


When I look back at the past couple of years, I have been blessed to have met a lot of good women. I made a decision that, to truly give myself a shot at the one, I would open up my boundaries and my worldview, dating across all lines….race, ethnicity, social class….all different types of personalities, different levels of ambition…. Teachers, social workers, corporate types, lawyers, poets, activists, nurses, secretaries…….Phd’s to high school grads…Bougie to regular down ass chick….. I have had some great times, many great conversations, learned a lot about myself, about life. I have benefited from my dating journey. But through it all that elusive, intangible “it” hasn’t manifested itself. I am wondering if the romantic idea I have in my head isn’t some unattainable thing. If it isn’t just the product of fantasy….Screenwriters and novelists fucking with all of our heads by creating some abstract idea that doesn’t fit with reality. I wonder if it isn’t really about just finding someone cool and pushing to make it last. The self-critic in me wonders if I’m not a fucking idiot for passing certain things by, going from selective to unrealistically picky in the process. The idealist and the pragmatist within me at war. I am more of a logical person than an emotional one, which makes it tough. I cant just blindly run with feelings and get lost in them. I have to process and analyze a situation, weighing if it is really the best move.


I feel like, the longer you are single, the harder it becomes to jump back into a relationship. You get so used to your independence and autonomy, and figure that if you are going to bring someone in, they DAMN well better well be worth it. For much of my life I was a serial monogamist. From high school through college, even into law school, I basically was a relationship to relationship guy. I didn’t do a lot of “dating” really. The last several years have been different. I told myself that something had to be “lifelong quality” before I would settle into it. This perspective change was inevitable. I had been married and divorced. Once you get to that point of having that ultimate commitment, you don’t go back to settling for less. Plus, at a certain age and level of experience, you would think that the little superficial connections would cease to be fulfilling. Maturity and depth creates a need for substance, for a sense of realness. So I began to search….and search…..Enjoying the journey yet frustrated at its failure to reach the ideal destination.


I am capable of articulating what I want and what I don’t want in a relationship. There are those benchmarks that are non-negotiable…honesty, loyalty, respect, communication…..But there is so much else in addition to that. I find myself at a loss of where to find it….So here I go….walking down an uncertain path…..questioning what i’ve done, and even more unsure of what’s ahead….

The "DL" Myth and the Damage It's Causing


When the whole "DL" myth exploded on the scene in the aftermath of J.L. King's book, something about the whole thing evoked skepticism in me. Mr. King made the rounds on Oprah and other talk shows, and the "DL" phenomenon was featured in numerous newspaper and magazine stories, including in Essence magazine something like 6 months in a row...Something about the whole thing just never sat right with me. It just seemed too overblown and like just another attempt to further stereotype black men. It's almost like it was the "close out" stereotype.....When more violent, less intelligent, lazy, underemployed, unemployed, unable to speak properly, irresponsible, not-taking-care-of-kids, not in jail/on probation/on parole, not diseased, not on drugs all fail......just throw "must be gay then" on top of it all and it makes every black male suspect in some way. It made the possibility of a good, responsible black man a total myth...that every brother had to have "something" wrong with him.....So when everyone was on the bandwagon, I felt that something about the whole thing was just insidiously racist.....Like Black men were the only ones doing this.....I couldn't believe that they were really doing it in numbers far in excess of others...the whole stereotype seemed harmful but I couldn't figure out how.


Now research has shown just how destructive and inaccurate this is. How the DL phenomenon is really rooted in myth, and how mistaken assumptions about black sexuality are finding their way into scientific research on the spread of HIV, and this could do more to fuel risky behavior than prevent it. Authors of a new commentary published in Annals of Epidemiology looked closely at the issue.


Reports on African-American men who identify themselves as straight but secretly have sex with men -- dubbed the "down low" lifestyle -- first appeared when men who said they were part of this subculture wrote books about it and the media picked up the story, Dr. Chandra L. Ford of Columbia University in New York City, the commentary's lead author, told Reuters Health.


"Part of what has happened as a result of that initial burst of stories reporting the 'down low' is that those stories often tied the down low to high rates of HIV infection among African-American women, which was not supported by epidemiological data," Ford added. "There were a lot of assumptions, there were a lot of leaps of faith that led to that."


Despite the non-scientific source, epidemiologists began doing research based on the idea that Black Men living the down low lifestyle were driving the spread of HIV, she and her colleagues note in their article in the Annals of Epidemiology.


This assumption was mistaken in many ways, they explain. First of all, the practice of straight men secretly having sex with men is seen across all ethnic groups. Also, Ford notes, while Black Men and women have higher rates of HIV infection than other ethnic groups, they also report fewer risk behaviors, suggesting researchers should look elsewhere to understand the disparity. For example, she adds, having a bacterial sexually transmitted infection can increase the risk of both transmitting and contracting HIV, and it is possible such infections may be more common among Blacks than whites due to poorer access to health care.


Research has refuted the claim that Black Men living the down low lifestyle are driving the spread of HIV, Ford said, but the perception that this is the case remains, even in the epidemiology community. She points to a dean at a colleague's school who urged researchers to study "the down low" after seeing a TV segment on it.


The view of black sexuality as deviant and diseased has deep roots, Ford noted, pointing to the way the public and the medical community viewed syphilis in the early 20th century as a disease of the Black Community. Not only could perceptions of the down low drive the men actually pursuing such a lifestyle further underground, making them less likely to get care, said Ford, it also draws attention away from interventions that could be truly effective, such as routine HIV testing of all adults. "HIV- AIDS is a social disease, so that means that there are social phenomena that influence the spread of the disease," Ford said. "We have to be as rigorous about understanding the social phenomena as we would be if we were studying how a microbe influences disease progression."


It shows the impact of stereotypes and negative views of black life in America that people, including a far too many women of color, were willing to scapegoat black men and their alleged deviant behavior as the root of the HIV crisis without looking at whether or not scientific research even backed up the claims. Hopefully more studies come along that paint a more realistic picture of what's going on than the one painted by one author with some books to sell.

For more on this issue, please check out www.jifunza.com.